the way you stare...

now its over. we already got a clearer picture of the future. my blog used to be so full of you. but now,i guess its gonna be full of me. thank you for meeting me up just now. thank you for letting me to be in your arms after so long. thank you for the kisses which seems like a last one. i,for once decided to brace myself up and let it all go. for the sake of your happiness. for the sake of my happiness too. you promised me alot of shits,but i chose not to believe. but i trust you with my whole heart,nevertheless. coz your love have changed me right round.

i am backing off. and i hope your new girl will learn not to be like me,because,hun,im the only one. and everyone knows we looked good together. i can still be there for you,to even help you out in anyways,because you know you can count on me. dont worry,i wont come begging to you anymore,but just hoping for the future to be brighter than expected. you have been my whole life and now that ive lost you,it got me stronger. but,i am glad we end it with a simple touch. i am no longer hanging onto any hopes. thank you once again for the love. we will be alright. we will be fine. i miss you.

define gorgeous when i am fabulous,miss...

i am a pessimist,i guess. i always anticipate the worst. hopes doesnt get me anywhere. and so promises & swears. they are just words,but they have no meaning. thats what i can say from my point of view. dont worry,i am not stereotyping any. so chill okay. i am just like the weather now. sometimes im cold,sometimes im hot. my feelings,stays the same,anyway. i whine alot and i know sometimes,i am such an irritant. but my friends understand me too well. i talk alot and i know i repeat most of the time,but dont blame me,i really cant remember things well. i was told that im selfish because i dont care about people,instead i care about myself and i prioritize myself too much.

i cant deny that im like that.  now that,i have lost something,i am beginning to appreciate whatever i have in life. no doubt,i dont know how to appreciate things,until they're gone. but people,thats life. we make mistakes,once and we learn from it. i have never been in this kind of state before,i know. it gets tougher each day but i am trying my very best to brace myself up. i dont want just my friends to be there for me,i also need love. you know the feeling to lose someone you really love? god,that hurts like hell. i cant stand the pain. but hey,in life,whoever taught you to give up right? when people shower you with wise words or strong advices,take them in and bring them home. once you're home,make use of it. thats what i am trying to do.

A life without love is like a year without summer.
A life without you is like a life without love.
You get it? I miss you,you know?

i have been drinking almost everyday. i have been watching the tv during dawn. i have been sleeping with his shawl. i have not been eating well unless been forced. i have been crying during cab rides. i have been talking to myself in the mirror every single day without fail. i have been writing these few days. i have been smoking non-stop since ive changed ciggs. i have been wanting to do things. i have been going to places that we used to go. i have been playing the same old song,on repeat. i have lost myself,totally. i have lost my other half,completely. now,thats life.

  could you see these tears I'm crying,
touch these hands that can't stop shaking,
hear my heart that's barely beating?

Love is the most dangerous craving of all,if you ask me. It turns us into people we aren’t,it makes us feel like hell,and makes us walk on water. It ruins us for anything else.

but loving you was the greatest.

my broken heart has been sent to heal.
and i remembered, we gather strength from sadness and from pain.

each time i die, i learn to live again.

i'm still here breathing now. i promise to wait,always do.